Any advice on coming out to girlfriend?

[Steve-hpias]

I don't remember where I read this, but it's some of the best advice I've heard in awhile: we would be well-served to remember that at some level, all marriages are interfaith marriages. No two people will have exactly the same religious beliefs, even if they both belong to the same church. I don't know if this is what the OP was looking for (probably not), but I hope someone finds it as useful as I have.

[findingmyownfooting]

All really good comments. I'm going to share with you the point of view from someone who has recently had a husband share his "findings" with me. In all honesty I would not have married my husband had he had these views before we got married. Having said that, I don't think he would have been the same man had he had those points of view back then. You have to ask the question does my girlfriend know who I am or just who I am pretending to be (that's not to indicate that you are doing it on purpose). If it is the latter then that is who she has fallen in love with, not the real you. The reason I married my husband is because I could see him being the husband and father I desired. Someone who could give priesthood blessings to our children when they were sick, someone who would see FHE as important... It might be helpful for you to find out what is really important to her and if you can still provide that. The situation is much different when a couple has had time to build a foundation together, hence the reason why DH and I are dealing with our situation so well. Please don't take this the wrong way but no matter how much you love your girlfriend the foundation of your relationship is not developed, that takes time and work, a lot of time and a lot of work. Two people with different points of view on major issues would have a very difficult time building a firm foundation. So I agree with some of the other comments that you both need to be on the same page, either you need to follow her or she needs to follow you (to a comfortable level) or you both need to go your separate ways.

[trill]

Hey there, Scotty. Thanks for sharing your story and best of luck on your journey. I am unmarried and also 23 years old. I was in a mixed-faith relationship (and discussing marriage) for some time. I was feeling ambiguous in regards to the church and Silas was fully out of the church. So, not quite the same. Still, it creates a difficult element in the relationship around the question of religion. It was pointed out to me post-break up that the religious distance between ambivalent me and a post-mo or me and a TBM is potentially very similar, just in opposite directions. Which is to say that I personally haven't ruled out dating TBMs, and I don't think that you sharing your thoughts with GF is necessarily a death knell to the relationship.

As to how to handle the conversation... Make sure to include the things that you appreciate about the church. Be gentle. Take a break and continue the conversation later if one of you start to get angry or feel overwhelmed. Reassure her of your love.