What do you want from this forum?
I ask that simply because I think we all pretty much agree completely with most of what you just wrote - most of it at least at some level. However, in the context of this forum, what are you looking to get out of your participation?
Again, please understand, I'm not asking for ANY reason other than to encourage introspection and focus. Nobody here advocates the extremes you address. We all understand that what you describe happens sometimes. We aren't trying to ignore stuff - not at all. Our focus is on finding **legitimate** ways to cope, then understand, then embrace - NOT any particular doctrine or teaching or practice or cultural aspect, but simply the church community. We can do that from various levels of belief and with widely divergent perspectives, but ultimately we are here to learn to embrace being Mormon or share how we've done so personally.
My main point in all of my questions is to see if you can start shifting the responsibility for your happiness away from others ("The Church" in this instance) and to yourself - even as you remain actively involved with and in "The Church". As I said in a previous comment, it is to try to help you toward reconciliation with the group, not to help you reconclie the group to you. Perhaps you can't do that. If so, I respect that - but this ultimately won't be the place for you. Perhaps you can do that. If so, I respect that - and this will be a good place for you. Much of the difference will be your willingness to let go of some things as you read about how others have let go of some things. That is up to you - but "reconciliation, peace and joy" aren't going to happen until (unless) you can see why the outlook this post illustrates is counter-productive to that process.
Until you can begin to see the legitimacy for others of the ideas that bother you (or, at least, grant that as a real possibility) - until you can grant that they might be right / correct for some, even as they are wrong / incorrect for you - until you can read those quotes without seeing "reactionary disrespect for science and intellectual freedom" - until you seek and achieve a different level of charity and compassion in how you characterize others - until those things start to happen, you are not going to find peace and joy in ANY religious group - not just in Mormonism.
